So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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