Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There are leaves in my underwear?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
