Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
