What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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