i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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