How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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