Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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