Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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