I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
