Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
only you would photoshop your dick
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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