yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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