are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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