She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
