waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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