just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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