Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
