She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
