There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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