Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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