i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't think brook has ever known best
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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