im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
