i barfeds in our rink
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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