Do vagina's smell?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize