She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
