The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize