Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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