overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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