I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
