Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
