I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
