Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
