This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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