i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
