She's JV to your varsity
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I want to fling myself into the sun
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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