Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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