we're blogging at a bar
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize