On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
