Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
