i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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