He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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