She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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