it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
