Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
