I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
