I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
