There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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