when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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