That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
