It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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