i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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