I'm eating all of the evidence.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
