Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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