pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
