is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
this boner is exhausting
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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