well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he was CRYING into my vagina
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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