You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this beer tastes like vomit already
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
