Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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