Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
