He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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