I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize