After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
