A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
